fine art Photographer in asheville- pictures of anxiety

Jun 5

photography helps my anxiety — “Facing the Devil” 2023

Photography is my therapy…

I very much know what anxiety feels like. It had come time to see what it looks like or to put a face to it.

Anxiety has been a part my life for over 29 years. It's like a devil that lurks inside me, waiting for the right moment to proclaim control. I can be going about my day, feeling relatively calm and happy, and then suddenly, “Here’s Johnny”. (The Shining 1980) This ENORMOUS feeling that everything is about to fall apart, come apart, fly apart and the best of all, that my life is in danger. I dream up every health condition imaginable and convince myself that I had it. It’s a conversation that I can’t leave. I have to stay for the whole thing.

For the past 5 years I have kept anxiety for the most part. There have been a few moments of panic, but very minimal and manageable.

I can chalk that up to understanding my “triggers” and self-therapy. Sugar was my #1 trigger I found out! I quit all sugars 5 years ago and my anxiety all but disappeared. Putting a name to it was also a huge step forward.

I have always thought of photography as therapy for myself and for others. But I wanted to go a bit further down the road of photography as a therapy for my anxiety. I had given it a name, now it was time to put a face to it.

Iv’e been at this for a while and until recently the face hadn’t appeared to me. The photo above “Facing the Devil” represents what I am dealing with.

This and many of the photos through this series are created with silver gelatin photo paper and 200,000 volts of electricity. Generated by many different tools such as Tesla coils, Wimshurst machines, Van De Graaff generators, etc. then using my body as a capacitor and the silver gelatin as a grounded conductor. The light from these transference of energies, results in a photographic record electricity on the paper. The random patterns created are acting as a roadmap for my healing. Some are long veins, others are burnt spots. What is this telling me?

Why electricity? I was struck by lighting in 2010 and nearly killed. Did I get super powers? Kind of… I can sense lighting before it happens. The electrical charge in the air actually charges me like a capacitor.

I am in no way saying this is safe or do I condone anyone attempting this. I know a bit about science and take most precautions, unless it stands in the way of my art…

My name is Parker J Pfister. I live and work as a photographic artist out of Asheville, North Carolina. I do lots of really, really, ridiculously, amazing things, such as portraits, editorial, commercial and fine art photography.

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